Okay, I give in, up, throw in the towel, etc. You may have heard the expression: “silence is golden” or how about this one: “don’t say anything if you can’t say something nice.” Those are my mottos – up until today that is!
Honestly, I do not like for people to complain, myself included, unless they actively try to do something to improve the situation. This is what I have been trying to do. I have been doing things like reaching out to others (opening the ‘doors’ so to speak); participating in clubs; and most pleasurable, assisting with the Women’s Resource Center (“WRC”). I have politely asked, nudged, and humbly begged other students to help me help nontraditional students to have a voice. Unfortunately, however, my attempts have apparently failed. Other than my work with the WRC and the one student response I received there have been no responses.
True, some days people read my posts and this gives me encouragement. Also, there are a couple of professors that talk with and encourage me to continue trying. For them I am grateful and motivated to keep going and working towards bridging the gaps (as I see them) amongst the traditional and nontraditional students – especially the females.
Until then I will endure the bad ‘mini-scenes’ (as I call them) throughout each day even though they are discouraging. At times the mini-scenes are downright distressing and discriminating. I cannot tell you how many times my voice/presence is dismissed or disregarded. Many times I get a nonverbal response: the rolling eyes, the head turning, or the staring at you directly, as if to say “what an idiot.” I cannot really complain with the nonverbal responses, however, because at least it is something!
The typical verbal response - from another student - is met with questions about who I am, what I am doing, and why I am doing whatever it is I am doing. Take today for example, I had two separate exchanges that are still upsetting me and leave me shaking my own head (but in private) and secretly wondering why I am trying so hard; why I continually just ’keep the peace’ and let it roll. Well, this time I have to offer one more thought before I can let it all go and move on. It is the absolute worst thing that happens to me as a nontraditional female student – when I am ignored, no response, neither verbal or nonverbal. This happens much more often than not and is from professors in addition to students. I mean, it is as if you do not exist, that you have no purpose, that you are not valued enough to even acknowledge. Why does this happen, why do people behave this way, is it because it is true? Or, are they conveying a message that is not traditionally spoken or shown but is merely just known to be? I have no idea but I certainly would like an answer – if you know, please share it!
So, unless I hear otherwise I will continue with my standard motto - conduct yourself with grace and try to speak only that which you wouldn’t mind being read by anyone. (Hence my discretion herein about the woes of being who/what I am.)
This brings me to this exact point in time “check,” another day of being a nontraditional female student at CCU is behind me. I am wondering if perhaps writing with more of a negative tone will get more responses? The truth will soon be seen, but in the meantime I will continue to smile, nod yes, and think positive thoughts!
Oh yes, I almost forgot, that towel – I picked it up again. I will continue to reach out to other nontraditional students, especially females. Although I may not see or hear of the positive impact my efforts have made on others, I like to believe that there have been some. Also I am bound and determined to fight for a voice for the female nontraditional CCU students because we need a voice. Someone needs to take the initiative for our group, to examine our unique issues, look at ways to enhance our CCU experience and those of the traditional students. I have made a commitment for these pursuits and until I am told not to do so any longer I will keep on trying and I know will succeed!
Until next time, happy CCU trails!
othreetwofive
Hello everyone, I have to say that I am so happy and excited with all of the views to my blog! I admit I was a bit let down at first because there have only been a couple of comments but, like all bad times, it will get better. The reason, for me – in this instance, is because I am receiving a lot of views. Documentation such as that is encouraging to me because at least I know that people are reading about my CCU nontraditional female perspective.
Honestly though, I wish that more students would take a few moments to write so that we could establish some kind of active communication. True, I dreamed this site would be a great forum for nontraditionals but sometimes the entire dream does not come true – only parts of it. The thing is, at least part of the dream is coming true and for now that is great. I have to remember that perhaps not enough people know about the site or that perhaps the traditional nontraditionals just don’t have time to put time and effort into these type of things.
Fortunately there is hope and for that I am very grateful. And just what could that be you ask? It is the CCU WRC – Women’s Resource Center (Wall, Room 313) of course. The official Open House is 04/22 from 4 to 7. The WRC has been painted a cheery yellow, there are comfy couches to sit and chat on, and tables and chairs – oh my! Additionally, they have all kinds of pamphlets and books to read. One of my personal favorites is women who visit, if they like, can create/paint a canvas to be hung on a WRC wall. I love the fact that not only is the WRC a place where you can get information about and for women, but that you are not pressured to do anything that you do not desire to do. Women can enjoy the atmosphere by simply sitting and relaxing. On the otherhand, they can hold meetings or informal chats in a safe and secure place.
The WRC will be a great place for all CCU women and will enhance their experience at CCU – maybe even their lives. Last Tuesday I was fortunate enough to be invited to attend the Council for Coastal Carolina University Women meeting. Not only was I impressed by the women in attendance, I was also inspired by their contributions and genuine care about other CCU women. While I felt humbled in their presence I was encouraged to contribute and continue with my efforts to reach out to other women, especially the nontraditional female women on campus.
Hence my blog this evening. I plan to attend more meetings, write as much as I can, and to reach out to encourage as many women as I possibly can. Nontraditional students - we do not have to be alone in the land of CCU! We will find a way to communicate with one another because there is no limit to all that we can do for ourselves, the campus and our respective communities.
Until next time, happy CCU trails!